


Whiskers (the care and keeping of)

by handschuhmaus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Episode AU s01e12 The Gungun General, Gen, file format compatibility issues happen even in a galaxy far far away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 18:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2743466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks to a surveillance recording and the Inquisitor's Force-inspired choice of starting point for processing, Agent Kallus gets to witness a momentous long-ago conversation about one of his favorite topics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whiskers (the care and keeping of)

"We've discovered some archival footage kept by some rogue forces--" the courier reported, dumping the messenger bag full of tapes onto Kallus's desk unbidden. It fell open, the contents spilling out.

"I don't really care," Kallus snapped, though he thought some of the tapes might be worth a look. 

They were interrupted and struck wordless by the Inquisitor stepping in as he strode quickly by and pausing to inspect the tapes, which Kallus would have assumed to be quite uninteresting to him. 

"This one," the Pau'un declared with a curious tone, plucking one from the pile and extending it towards Kallus.

"I--" the ISB Agent stuttered confusedly.

"Watch it, Agent," he was commanded, and the tall figure with the bloodstained face (well, they weren't actually bloodstains, but they weren't near so compelling as Kallus's own magnificent sideburns) walked out of Kallus's office again and resumed his brisk stride down the corridor. His tone had suggested less of the censorious general "it" and more of the specific "it"--to wit, that Kallus was meant to examine this particular recording. 

Sighing, he dismissed the insolent courier and set to actually playing the recording, which was of a somewhat antiquated mode and not obviously playable on standard Imperial issue technology. After some research he changed a few settings and downloaded a compatibility patch, all to be treated to some grainy, years old footage.

"Too bad we didn't get Skywalker too," a voice on the recording, probably belonging to one of the two beings standing in front of a cell door, grunted. Kallus's ears pricked up. They'd mentioned _Skywalker_ , the really noteworthy Jedi.

"Yeah, but Kenobi _and Count_ Dooku are still quite the prize. You'd think they'd be fighting like wildcats in there, the two of them, but it's really been relatively peaceful so far. But I'm not supposed to talk about it," was the reply. The resolution of the video was bad, but there was some movement on the face of the guard who was facing the camera, leading Kallus to surmise it was him speaking.

"Yeah," the first voice agreed, and limped off, the sound of his stride on the floor reminding Kallus less of the actually graceful inquisitor and more of Taskmaster Grint, whose great redeeming feature in the ISB Agent's eyes was some obscure fruit desert of which he brought in a rendition every other week.

Another voice, with no visible source, spoke on the tape. "So, Yoda?"

Silence returned and the listener strained his ears in hopes that a very slight noise would be heard, but all that happened within two long minutes was a slight sound of air wafting across the microphone pickup.

"Serenno--" the same voice suggested.

"No," a more sonorous one directed unquestionably. Again there was a silent interval.

"I have it--beards."

"Beards?" and Kallus could hear the skeptical tone in the more sonorous voice.

"Okay, we both have beards and I don't see how that could be divisive, really." Without consciously trying to, the Agent found himself stroking his own magnificent whiskers at the tone.

"Your point being? We should try to find physical similarities? It may have escaped you, Kenobi, but this cell is not well lighted."

"No, no!" dismissed that first voice, Kenobi it seemed. "Actually your beard is rather nice and I don't think beard maintenance is such a controversial topic. We could discuss how you keep it looking neat." 

At that Kallus paused the tape and mentally turned over the thought that had struck him at the long ago Jedi's pronouncement regarding beard maintenance. Yes--yes, Kallus thought, probably he would be willing to extend temporary civility to even a rebel who had the taste to compliment his whiskers and inquire after their well-being-- 

He was interrupted then by the entry of Commandant Aresko bringing him a piece of Grint's jogan grunt. "I think you're needed in the Minister's office," Aresko said, and Kallus wasn't quite sure whether the dry pronouncement was mocking or not.

"Very well. I'll see to the rest of this later," he noted, minimizing the window.

**Author's Note:**

> (yes, [a grunt _is_ a sort of dessert](http://baking.about.com/od/piesandfruiteddesserts/a/bettybucklegrun.htm))


End file.
